Blender Music Collection Addition: Everything Happens To Me By Matt Dennis + Leonard Cohen Blender Animation

In Two Great Songs Invoking Blenders, I lauded “introspective pop songs that examine the deterioration of a dyadic, sexually charged relationship through the use of a figure of speech based on a small, motorized brand name kitchen appliance” and offered videos of Warren Zevon’s “Poor Poor Pitiful Me” and Bonnie Raitt’s “Blender Blues” as exemplars of this distinctive category.

Take note that I am not employing wussy metaphorical references to or fuzzy connotations of “Blender Music.” Indeed, I am not resorting to “gender -blender music,” “blended music styles,” “Blender music magazine,” the various music sites with “Blender” in the title, or any such fudges.

Nope, I mean blender – as in that blender Uncle Foster and Aunt Thelma gave you as a wedding present, as in a blender with at least 19 settings, as in the kind of blender that produces margaritas, crushed ice, smoothies, pureed leeks, and flour from wheat berries,. We are talking heavy duty appliance. Moreover, we’re talking about one brand of one kind of appliance that has been immortalized in song – The Waring Blender.1

In any case, we now have an addition to the Blender Music Collection.

Everything Happens to Me By Matt Dennis

Matt Dennis added a special chorus to his song, “Everything Happens To Me,” to illustrate what it’s like to sing in a cocktail lounge:

And when I sing a solo
Then the Waring Blender goes

These lines are followed by a Waring Blender sound effect. The lyrics in this video are a tad different but easily followable. The video starts automatically just before the pertinent point in the song.



Bonus: Leonard Cohen Blender Animation

While my attempts to persuade Leonard to adapt his lyrics to qualify for the Blender Music Collection (e.g., “From the homicidal bitchin’ That goes down in every kitchen without a Waring blender”) were inexplicably unsuccessful, I did manage to create an animation of Mr Cohen blending away.


Photo by Wicker Paradise


  1. Note: has received no compensation of any sort from the good folks at Waring – although should they wish to show their appreciation, I would be loathe to hurt their feelings (yes, corporations have feelings, too) by rejecting such generosity. []

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