For many years, I issued Honeycrisp harvest alerts because, as I explained to friends asking for information about my children, social life, career, and reading,
It has been my experience that Honeycrisp apples are more reliably gratifying and, despite their premium price, less expensive than offspring, girlfriends, and literature.
Now that the Honeycrisp phenomenon is widely known, such explanatory alerts are no longer necessary. Today’s post is an Apple Update. First, however, let’s review.
Honeycrisp Apples: Sweet As Honey and Crisp As, Ah, A Really Crisp Apple
The Honeycrisp, true to its name, is the sweetest apple I’ve found. Theoretically, sweetness may not appeal to every palate, but the Honeycrisp consistently rates highly in blind taste tests, and I’ve yet to meet that individual who, on trying this apple, has found the gustatory sensation anything other than delicious. The taste is, in fact, sufficiently intense that I typically eschew chomping directly into a Honeycrisp, opting instead to slice it into small pieces and savor the smaller bites. I also find that, while I take great pleasure from the taste, I am ordinarily satisfied with half an apple and set aside the rest for another time.
And the texture, nicely captured in the phrase “explosively crisp,”1 is to my taste, perfect.
This apple’s appearance does, however, fall considerably short of spectacular and, as the supply on hand at my local market dwindles, approaches unappealing, with many lumps, bumps, and asymmetry among the specimens. Nonetheless, I’ve found even these unattractive examples to be delicious, sweet, and exceedingly crisp.
Indeed, I have yet to find a single Honeycrisp apple that was not delicious, sweet, and exceedingly crisp.
I like my apples like I like my women: sweet, tart, juicy, pleasantly firm when bitten, and available for pick-up at Kroger at two for $3
What Hath Honeycrisp Wrought?
SweeTango, Zestar, Rave, Cosmic Crisp, EverCrisp, Arctic, Kissabel, Envy — these creative names all belong to new designer apples hoping to satisfy your taste buds. Farmers are racing to grow and sell the perfect apple, one with the best texture, the best crunch, the best flavor — even an apple that won’t brown.
From The quest for the perfect apple – Honeycrisp apples cracked open consumer demand for premium fruit by Ellen Rolfes and Alexandra Cardinale (Vox: Oct 24, 2018)
- “Explosively crisp” and variations of this phrase appear so frequently in reference to Honeycrisps that I suspect it is part of the marketing campaign; it does nonetheless effectively evoke the sensation of biting into one of these specimens1
- 1. I now have, in 2007, indirect evidence that the above speculation, made in my 2006 Honeycrisp post, is on point. The graphic shown below is an official media-ready photo made available in high resolution on the
- from the folks who created and promote the Honeycrisp.
One may quibble over distinctions between apples associated with fireworks and apples associated with explosives, but I maintain that those marketing motifs are too similar for their application to a single type of apple to be coincidence.