8 Predictions About The 2010 Leonard Cohen Tour: #5-8

I’ve seen the future, baby

Note: It wasn’t until Nov 2009 that we discovered there would be a 2010 Leonard Cohen Tour. Naturally, DrHGuy shouldered the responsibility of envisioning the updated format those concerts might take in this Dec 29, 2009 post.

For his next tour, Leonard Cohen will undoubtedly revamp the concert structure to provide a fresh presentation for audiences. For those fans eager for a preview of the new shows, DrHGuy got in touch with his inner gypsy boy to offer these predictions. Also See: Predictions #1-4.

5. Leonard Cohen’s hypnotism will become an regular feature in his concerts.

Leonard Cohen’s early interest in hypnotism1 pays off when he regularly appears during concert intermissions as Leonardo, The Maestro of Melancholia and Mesmerism, to perform classic stage hypnosis routines, including the perennially crowd-pleasing stunt of inducing a volunteer from the audience to cluck like a chicken.

6. Leonard Cohen will step up his publicity effort.

Finding he misses the give and take with the press and concerned about the potential loss of publicity for the Tour, Leonard Cohen will shift from refusing all interviews to seeking them out as well as pursuing other promotional opportunities. Consequently, in anticipation of the next US tour, he will

  • Give interviews to, among others, the New York Times, Sports Illustrated, New England Journal of Medicine, Fashion Doll Quarterly, Organic Gardening, Popular Mechanics, and the Crystal Lake, Illinois Penny Shopper
  • Appear on Good Morning Texarkana
  • Simultaneously become a contestant on Dancing With the Stars, Project Runway, The Bachelor, & Iron Chef
  • Perform “O Canada” before the Chicago Blackhawks-Montreal Canadiens hockey game and lead the crowd in singing “Take Me Out To The Ball Game” during the 7th inning stretch of a Cubs-Blue Jay game at Wrigley Field
  • Preside as Head Judge of the Jams, Jellies, and Preserves competition at the Cabarrus County (North Carolina) Agricultural Fair

7. Audience interaction will be the keynote of Leonard Cohen concerts.

  • At every concert, Leonard Cohen will sing “Happy Birthday” and present a Baskin-Robbins certificate good for one double header cone with choice of sprinkles to anyone with a birthday falling on that date.
  • Sharon Robinson and the Webb Sisters will organize the audience into sections to sing So Long, Marianne as a round.
  • Lyrics for all songs will be displayed karaoke-style on the venue telescreens.
  • To switch things around, Javier Mas & Rafael Gayol will intermittently fling roses, stuffed monkeys, and blouses into the audience
  • Leonard Cohen will personally sell his CDs and merchandise in the lobby after shows.
  • Rather than gazing at Javier Mas during dramatic points in his performance, Leonard Cohen will leave the stage to stare into the eyes of an audience member.
  • Roscoe Beck & Neil Larsen will operate a t-shirt cannon
  • During Save The Last Dance For Me, Leonard Cohen will select a female fan to join him onstage for the final dance.

8. The skipping thing becomes passe; Leonard Cohen will enter and exit the stage on a unicycle – while juggling.

 

 

Comments From Original Post

Maureen SmillieAll sound perfectly reasonable to me ……
MaryB#7 especially had me LMBO
Vicki Woodyard: I feel sorry for Leonard. They say if something can be fictionalized, it will happen in real life….I can’t wait for the t-shirt cannon
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  1. “When Leonard Cohen was in his early teens, he developed a keen interest in hypnosis. After studying a 19th century book, he tested his skills on his family’s maid and succeeded in putting her into a trance. After which he took her clothes off. Then, in a panic, he desperately tried to wake her before his mum came home. Ancient wisdom, nakedness, sexual longing, angst, the imposition of will, the art of holding people spellbound – even if the story wasn’t true (and it is), it would have made a perfect allegory for Cohen’s musical output.” From Sylvie Simmons, Mojo Presents Leonard Cohen CD, quoted by Tom Sakic at A Thousand Kisses Deep. []

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