Leonard Cohen’s Master Of Merchandise
Now, there is much to admire about the official Leonard Cohen Tour merchandise. It is, for example, officially the official Leonard Cohen Tour merchandise, which renders it automatically desirable to fans. Still, there is the sense that the offerings suffer from a edginess deficit. And, inexplicably, none of the current products poke fun at the Canadian singer-songwriter – and that ain’t right.
As is our wont here at Cohencentric, we are stepping up to provide a fix.
We are today introducing the fabulous, exclusive, way cool Cohencentric line of New & Improved (But Not For Sale) Leonard Cohen memorabilia, souvenirs, signifiers, and other goodies.
The Heart With A Companion (Pacemaker) T-shirt
I was cured, and my heart
was at ease
From “Light As The Breeze”
By Leonard Cohen
Just in time for the start of the US Tour, the first Cohencentric product to hit the Leonard Cohen market is the Heart With A Companion (Pacemaker) T-shirt displayed atop this post, featuring the familiar Unified Heart logo – attached to its own Cohentronics pacemaker. (Bob Dylan and Bruce Springsteen1 pacemaker t-shirts are also available.)
New & Improved Leonard Cohen Merchandise R&D Report
I was 60 years old—just a kid with a crazy dream. Since then I’ve taken a lot of Prozac, Paxil, Wellbutrin, Ritalin, … I’ve also studied the religions and philosophies, but cheerfulness kept breaking through.2
We are disappointed to report that regulatory issues will apparently prevent the much anticipated Leonard Cohen Treasury Of Antidepressant Pharmaceuticals, a specially labeled collection of “a lot of Prozac, Paxil, Wellbutrin, Ritalin… ” and other medications tried by Leonard for relief from depression, from reaching the market in time for the Winter onset of Seasonal Affective Disorder and the trending post-Christmas depressions.
Similarly, talks with representatives from the Zen Buddhist and Jewish communities are stalled, causing plans to launch the Leonard Cohen Cooking Kosher For Buddhists Cookbook have been placed on hold.
Negotiations with the international drug cartels and local gangs are, however, proceeding apace so the Leonard Cohen Captain Mandrax Recreational Pharmaceutical Sampler may indeed to ready for holiday gift-giving.
Comments From Original Post
Arlene Dick October 16, 2009 at 10:34 am: You are a caution, Dr HGuy. I choked on my bagel this morning laughing in anticipation of my order. I can’t find your official Online Shop order form, so here goes:
1. I will need a pacemaker after attending four concerts on the final leg of the tour, especially after the last concert in San Jose. My order is: One LC Unified Hearts T-shirt model with Cohentronic pacemaker.
2. Does your Online Shop carry a mood swing medication for Non-seasonal Affective Disorder? It is so difficult in California adjusting to all that sun and nice weather every day, every month. It just goes on and on.
3. I don’t like to pay retail. Can you get these for me wholesale?
Apolinary October 16, 2009 at 11:52 am: Well, see this: http://schronisko.art.pl/polek/audio/pict4296.jpg 🙂
It’s the only one T-shirt that my wife made for me 🙂
Miryam October 21, 2009 at 9:26 am: When will I be able to order Unified tee etc. from you?
Brain Helstrom August 28, 2015 at 9:40 am: The wonderful memories of that night live on in my heart and the hearts of everyone blessed to have been there on that night, a night I then described as magic and a word that suffices! As I once said to Leonard, Thank you for the magic and memories of Lissadell.
I am republishing selected posts from my former Leonard Cohen site, Cohencentric, here on AllanShowalter.com (these posts can be found at Leonard Cohen). This entry was originally posted Oct 16, 2009 at 1HeckOfAGuy.com, a predecessor of Cohencentric.